What do we love most in our lives, possibly? Our freedom(s). What is one of the first things you lose in your life when you become romantically committed to someone? Your freedom(s). Now that you’re thinking ahead and suspecting it, let’s talk about it.
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One of the hardest and most honest things you can do in a romantic relationship is to talk about opening up sexually or romantically. Opening a relationship, also known as non-monogamy or consensual polyamory, is an important decision that requires careful consideration and communication between all parties involved. It can be a rewarding and satisfying experience for some people, but it is not suitable for everyone. If you’re thinking about opening up your relationship, here are five essential things to consider before taking that step.
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- Open communication
- Set clear limits and rules
- Jealousy and insecurity
- Time management
- Safe sex and health concerns
Open communication
The foundation of any successful open relationship (or just a relationship in general) is open and honest communication between all partners. Before you continue, have honest conversations about your desires, fears, and limits. Also be prepared to actively and empathetically listen to your partner’s feelings. Communication will be an ongoing process as you navigate the complexities of an open relationship, so make sure you feel comfortable expressing your needs and concerns. Remember, it’s not one conversation, it’s many honest, difficult conversations over a continuous period of time.
Also read: Understanding the diversity of relationships: there is more than one way to love
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Set clear limits and rules
Setting boundaries is crucial when starting a relationship. These have to be respectful but do not have to make objective sense for everyone. Your subjective limits are important. Discuss what is personal and mutually acceptable and what is not, especially in the realm of emotional and physical intimacy with others. Some common questions to address include whether there are restrictions on who you can date or sleep with, whether certain activities are prohibited, and how much information should be shared about other relationships. Be open to reviewing and adjusting boundaries as your relationship evolves. Don’t use your boundaries as a weapon to be competitive, mean, or as a way to address your insecurities.
Jealousy and insecurity
Jealousy and insecurity are common emotions in any relationship, even for people who generally feel secure in their relationships. Be kind to your partner’s insecurities and your own. Create spaces as wide as a cricket stadium, if necessary, to listen, talk and discuss your fears, hopes and desires. It is essential to recognize these feelings and work together to overcome them. Remember that jealousy does not necessarily indicate a lack of love or commitment; rather, it often arises from fear of loss or feelings of inadequacy. Be prepared to offer support, reassurance, and mutual understanding as they navigate these emotions.
Time management
Maintaining multiple relationships requires effective time management. Make sure your current partners don’t feel abandoned because of your new relationship energy (NRE). It’s understandable that NRE takes up your time and attention, but be sure to intervene yourself when necessary. Don’t start from a place of defense or attack when talking about perceived negligence. Consider how the openness of your relationship may affect your existing commitments and responsibilities. Allocate time for your primary partner and other partners while making sure you have time for self-care and personal interests. Being aware of time allocation helps avoid neglecting any relationships and fosters a sense of balance in your life.
Also Read: How can AI affect LGBTQIA+ people in India? Three queer researchers of Indian origin explain
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Safe sex and health concerns
In an open relationship, there is a higher risk of exposure to sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Before collaborating with new partners, talk about STI testing and prevention with your primary partner and potential new partners. It is essential to prioritize sexual health and be responsible for protecting yourself and others. Regular testing and open conversations about sexual health are vital components of a healthy, open relationship. I highly recommend that you talk to a healthcare provider about PrEP, condom use, and any other vaccines you may need.
While starting a relationship can be rewarding, it may not be right for everyone, and that’s okay. It is essential to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships and that each partnership must find what works best for them. Consider seeking support from experienced people or joining local or online communities dedicated to open relationships. Learning from others who have gone through similar challenges can provide you with valuable information and guidance as you embark on this journey. Freedom over your body and your desire does not take away the responsibilities you have towards your partner.
For more stories on the LGBTQIA+ community and queerness in India, keep reading Spectrum on TIT Education.
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Source: vtt.edu.vn