Being nice to people is always the right thing to do. However, doing everything you can to help other people is never good for your health. It’s inevitable to run into people who won’t get your vibe and confrontations will eventually arise.
If this innate need to get along with people overwhelms your being, it could be a sign that you should take things slow and consider investigating your people-pleasing potential.
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- Who is the expert?
- What are the telltale signs to spot a people pleaser?
- Feeling out of control in social situations.
- Taking responsibility for another person’s feelings.
- Agree with others to avoid conflicts.
- Be a “yes” man
- Worrying about your feelings doesn’t matter
Who is the expert?
American psychologist Dr. Juli Fraga listed 5 signs to detect a people pleaser in a conversation with the Washington Post.
What are the telltale signs to spot a people pleaser?
Feeling out of control in social situations.
Dr. Fraga explained that one of the most powerful signs of people pleasing is the need to control every social situation. This means that a people pleaser would have a hard time reconciling with the possibility that someone in their social circle might not like them.
If they don’t feel in control of how someone else sees them or have to walk on eggshells in every conversation, then the people pleaser can end up in extremely embarrassing situations.
One of the telltale signs is apologizing excessively to “not make them angry.”
Taking responsibility for another person’s feelings.
If there have been times when you saw someone in a bad mood and worried that it might be your fault, then this is a sign of your people-pleasing personality.
Taking responsibility for another person’s bad mood and coming up with strategies to make them feel better are signs that you are a people pleaser.
Agree with others to avoid conflicts.
If you have a habit of agreeing with people even when your experience tells you otherwise, then it is a sign of your people-pleasing qualities.
Avoiding conflict at all costs to get people to like you is a great indication of people-pleasing behavior.
Be a “yes” man
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Being willing to take on tasks and responsibilities can be a good habit at work. However, if you end up taking on extra tasks and pushing your limits frequently, life can become pretty horrible.
Worrying about your feelings doesn’t matter
According to Fraga, people-pleasers tend to cling to the false belief that they should not express their opinions.
The psychologist mentioned that these people worry that expressing their feelings “will be a burden or cause someone to abandon them.”
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Source: vtt.edu.vn